Blue Lips
by rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe
Summary: Edward regrets refusing Bella to change only after graduation. He changes his mind because his true love, Bella, had died because of a brain tumour. Now, Edward struggles to keep Bella's last wish alive and to keep himself complete! BxE plz review!


**Thanks to all who reviewed my past Twilight oneshot. Enjoy this one!**

Blue Lips

When I think about life and its meaning, I don't know what to say or think, for that matter. My life immediately changed when I turned into this….thing. A vampire. My life took a turn for the best and worst when I met Isabella Marie Swan, the love of my life. I always wondered why she appealed to me so much, but as the years go by, I realize that she completed me. She made me think that living a life as a vampire wasn't all that bad.

As I think about it more and more, I also realize that she has had the power to make an enormous impact on my life that everyone of my actions was determined by her. I knew that I shouldn't have had her have such a big impact, but what could a man do? I realized that romance had such a bigger impact on one's life than what we see in dramas, movies, and books. We both realized that it was more forceful. Why am I going through this all over again? Well, it is because the one person that was the most important of my life was…gone.

I don't mean gone, as in leaving me and moving onto a human where she could lead a normal, human, happy life. I mean gone, saying that she is….entirely gone.

Gone: it's a word that makes it seem as if she is entirely gone from my life. But that isn't the case. Instead, she is still with me, right inside me, right there. I know that some vampires might overlook this attraction, but others look at this as a distraction, simply a nuisance. I want to tell those vampires that she is **not **a distraction; she is my life. Bella had always wanted the best for me, but I didn't think that I could give it to her.

She had always said that my absence for eight months had killed her and that I took her soul away from her. But now, she took my soul that had just been reborn when she took step into my life away forever.

I remembered the day that she learned that she had…a brain tumour. It had killed her the moment ever since she found out. I told her that it wouldn't be bad, and that we could survive through this together. She had found out just weeks before her graduation. It had surprised me that Carlisle hadn't even found a signal symptom of the brain tumour before. I thought at the moment that he just was hiding that fact.

For the first couple of weeks, she had been fine staying inside the hospital with Carlisle as her chief doctor. She took her medications, she took her shots, and she took just about everything else that was needed. At the end of two weeks, I started having hope. I thought that this wouldn't turn out so…bad…

However, the opposite of my thought and my worst nightmare happened. Carlisle had said that she was supposed to die in the next week or so. When I found out this, I wanted to scream, but just kept it inside my chest. I knew that Bella would cry if I ever took this too much to heart, so to speak.

Carlisle had said that she would vomit more often, and that she might lose her eyesight. When I found out about the blindness, I thought that she might not be able to see me ever again.

I tried my best to stay with Bella any moment I could. Sure, the blood in her vomit had thrown me off, but I tried to make sure she didn't see. Nonetheless, with her observance and very sharp one at that, she always told me to leave her with Carlisle and Alice, who both could still tolerate the blood.

I agreed but I didn't expect the worse to happen very soon. Bella had lost her eyesight, just hours before she passed away. She kept on grasping onto my shirt and saying that she loved me over and over again. I assured her that she would be fine and that she would be all better, but we both knew that I was pulling some strings here.

Just an hour before she died, she told me that she loved me more than the world and the galaxy. I sighed once more, saying that she didn't have to tell me again. She insisted on saying it though. There I was listening to her say that she loved me for forty-five minutes before she changed the course of the conversation.

Then she told me not to do anything stupid like going to the Volturi. I knew that she meant that she didn't want me to die. I tried to argue with her but it was no hope. She remained persistent. Just as she was about to close her eyes and with only a minute left, I gave her a soft peck on her lips, my cold marble lips neutralized by the warmth of her lips, even though it did lose its warmth over the weeks. When I stopped, I realized that she smiled faintly before she closed her eyes. Once again, I put a kiss on her dead, blue lips, knowing that my Bella was gone forever.

She had died just a week before graduation, so she couldn't have changed into a vampire, just as she wished. I thought that it wouldn't matter now and that there was always tomorrow. However, I finally realized that there wasn't always tomorrow.

When I attended her funeral, everyone gave me their deepest sympathy. Everyone was there. Renee and Phil, Charlie no doubt, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Jacob and all the others of Bella's friends. Just as she was going to be put into the ground, I tried to look, but I couldn't. I left before I had seen her being put into the Forks cemetery to be rotting away forever, just as she put it.

Months had passed and I realized that there was nothing to be done. I wished that I had done something earlier, but I knew that I didn't have the strength. I didn't want to break my promise by not going to the Volturi but I wanted to. I wanted to join Bella in heaven, or wherever she is.

Right now as I remember everything that has happened in the course of two and a half years on the meadow where Bella and I shared our first kiss, I am still in jeopardy. I don't know what to do.

What was I supposed to do when Bella, my love, died? I couldn't break my promise and break her last wish, but I couldn't handle it.

What do I do?

**That's it! You can choose if Edward goes to Volturi and dies or if he continues on living another century with that lost look in his eyes. **

**I just read New Moon and I LOVE IT! I can't wait till Eclipse. Can anyone tell in a review in any of my Twilight stories what happens as I won't be acquiring the book right away?**

**Please review!**

**Forgiveness is the scent that the rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.**

**-Rosefire**


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